Clicking ‘leave’​ or Networking as an introvert

Someone messaged me via LinkedIn. Nothing unusual there. I get a few generic messages trying to get me to apply to jobs or go back to school. A few ongoing conversations with people I know in real life. The job ones I am like …. is this a real person? Is this a real job? Why would I want to work there when this email is not really personalized? I tend to ignore those robo messages. I apply back to friends and forget the rest.

But then I received one from a contact who just seemed to be using LinkedIn to network. Figure that! Actually using the platform to network in a way that is further than just ‘connecting’ to another person. I bit this bait and I am glad I did for it was a real person on the other end! We chatted back and forth a bit before they politely mentioned that if I was interested in working my side hustle I might be a good fit for what they were doing. I hesitated away from that, but kept the conversation going. I was enjoying the other talk and I could not really understand what it was they did for a living. We shared leads of networking opportunities with each other. Which led to my conflicted personality traits rearing their heads at the same time.

I signed up to join a free online networking opportunity they told me about. Who would not? I mean it was free. That’s my budget! So I was looking forward to the event, not having a clue what was in store. The go getter in me held the baton. Yes I signed up immediately, I was going to go and talk to everyone and share what I want to do and meet all these people who would love and hire me immediately!

Here I am. Registered. Logged in. Camera off. Mic off. Name not complete. What the hell do I put as a job? Then the host shared the event plans. What! They are going to have us breakout into rooms of two people!!! There is no way to hide from only one other person. Breathe. I go through two breakouts with no idea what I am saying, no elevator pitch ready or really receiving much interest from other people. And I forgot to ask them what they do. After the second breakout is done I click the leave button and I am out of there!

The leave button on Zoom. You have all seen it. And it is calling me from the moment they said rooms of two. Not only do I hit the leave button and leave Zoom. I leave the physical room I am in. Like they will not be able to see me now that I left the area.

I breathe and go back into the room. Sit back down and click that button on Zoom. Here I am again. Back in the room with my camera and mic on. The host is talking to one other person who was late to the event. I act like I had some internet problems, but I left. I hit the leave button and I have no regrets about it! I would do it again, but I am glad that I also faced my inner shy self and went back in. I ended up meeting more people. And even though this event was not my thing. I did find some inspiration from the people I talked to after I decided to go back in. Because I now had some knowledge of what was going to happen, what people were there for and how to better use my time. Instead of rambling on (which I think I was only doing in my head) I focused on either what I wanted to get out or asked them questions. Was this their first time? I found out it was for a lot of them. And for the person that said that they have been to these events for over 20 years, I asked why they keep going. What they did and so on. I actually had someone say maybe I could write for them in the future! Now that was an unpaid offer, but hey it was something. Even if we both knew I was not going to do that.

The important part of the night for me was this: I went back in. I let myself freak out, leave, leave the room. Heck I would have been okay if I needed to walk all the way outside or hide in the bathroom for awhile. In the future I may do that last one in real life.

Sing For Hope Pianos

Just sent in my application to be an artist for Sing For Hope. You can paint a piano! A little nervous because they may only be looking to have it painted, but I suggested painting and then to cover it in paper mache. I already know how I would seal the paper so it would last, not fall off, and not be toxic. Fingers crossed they chose me!

Portrait of a friend

I drew a portrait of my friend James upon his passing in August 31, 2011 (wow has it been that long?). It was sudden, unexpected, and impactful on my myself and others. We all reacted differently and we are all still feeling the lose. It has brought us back into each others lives and has bonded us for life (if we weren’t already). I am not saying the way we feel is different than others who have lost friends/family, just sharing how James keeps popping up in my life even as time goes by. And it is in a most pleasant way.

Back to the portrait. So I drew this portrait (more here) and I think it came out nicely. Since then I decided to cut the plain white back ground out and have taped him to a wall in my studio. When I was moving things around in my studio in January I moved him once again and incorporated him into a multimedia collage of sorts. Not sure yet where my portrait will go next, but I do enjoy having my friend smiling at me while I create.


Remembering a friend

Caller ID is a helpful thing. You know who is calling and when to answer a call. It fills you with different emotions as you see the number/name flash on the screen. Excitement for your beau, a job interview, art gallery, your family. It can also cause the exact opposite. Unfortunately for me it was one of these calls I received early Friday morning.

My phone rang and there was a name of a very good friend. This should of filled me with excitement. Because we have kept in touch, but not via verbal communication. My gut filled with an Ot Oh this is going to be bad news feeling immediately upon reading the Caller ID. Sadly I was correct.

A mutual childhood friend had passed away in their sleep. We all knew he was not doing well, but this was not expected. He didn’t have cancer or a disease that would prepare one for this (not that one is every really prepared for death). And he was young which always makes these things sadder and more upsetting. After the shock wore off I decided to draw his portrait.

With millions of fond memories of my friend one event immediately jumped out. 11years ago we went on a road trip for an entire week. It was something that he had expressed happiness for in one of the last emails he sent me. I have a lovely picture of him smiling right at the camera. That is the picture I have chosen to draw. Below is the beginning of my drawing. I believe he would like that I am drawing his portrait, the image I have chosen, and how it is coming out.



So Shannon got two sketchbooks (presumably a mistake of Art House) and I still had none. So she gave me her spare. I started it.
Then I checked my PO Box this morning. You know that my sketchbook was finally there waiting for me. ha ha Oh well. At least I have a bit of time to do something with it before I have to send it back.

Pictures to follow soon………..

Empty PO Box

This morning I forced myself to get up early and run some errands. One was to check my PO Box for the elusive sketchbook. A friend of mine received hers on Saturday, so I figured mine was waiting in the box. Or at least a note telling me to ask for it at the desk.  Alas I was wrong, but not severely disappointed for I had found a great parking spot right outside the post office. I spot I could leave my car in all week if I wanted. Okay really just till Friday, but in this town that is like finding the golden ticket!  So I will venture back over to my PO box either later today or tomorrow.


Maybe the sketchbook is there right now.  I will also move my car before Friday. I have stuff to do! Art to make! People to meet up with!  Although I have no real reason to move my car, other than I like it closer to home, I will move it. Eventually.

Sketch Pad

I signed up for today. It is gonna be fantastic. Art tour! What a grand idea. Can’t wait to receive my sketch book. Ideas are running rampant in my head!